I really love people with dementia. They are among my favorite people on earth. I love what they say and how they say it and how they share their inner truth through the struggle of dementia losses. They're funny and interesting and deep, very deep.
That's not to say I have some unhealthy attachment to people actually having dementia. If I could give them a dose of cure-all-dementia medicine, I would. Because these all too often are frightened, lost people struggling with a personal nightmare.
That said, I really love people with dementia. Do you know that no-one I've ever looked after, who had dementia, ever knew my name? That's an odd thought. But it never made me feel unhappy because, of course, I knew that was typical of dementia. It was the territory they lived in, not the intention of their hearts.
I didn't worry they didn't know my name, because I knew theirs, and God knew ours. I didn't worry, because being with them filled my heart and my care filled theirs. And you probably know, many of the people who go on to have dementia had very difficult childhoods.
Not many people have commented on that, but I always noticed. Now that I do dementia workshops all over the place, I always ask people about the life histories of those who have dementia. And over and over, the same thing comes up. Childhood was hard.
And what's the connection with dementia? Well, there has been no research into those issues -- I guess because you couldn't write it down as a treatable symptom on the medication advisory. "Take two after breakfast if you had a bad childhood."
I work it out this way. Stress is the chief gateway of entry for every major health event that is not genetic. Even in plagues, like the Black Death in Europe in the 13th century, when one third of the entire population of Europe died. That means that two thirds didn't.
Stress releases adrenaline which raises the amount of cortisol in the body. What is the price paid for an infant, a toddler, a young child being constantly flooded with adrenaline and cortisol? We don't know, but I believe part of the long-term price is the development of dementia in old age. I only conclude that from meeting these people at the other end of the road of life.
So, I've always seen my part in their care as being a chance to have life be safe and enjoyable for them. And I'm a fool for fun, so that bit's easy. Lots of silly in my brain.
That's not to say I have some unhealthy attachment to people actually having dementia. If I could give them a dose of cure-all-dementia medicine, I would. Because these all too often are frightened, lost people struggling with a personal nightmare.
That said, I really love people with dementia. Do you know that no-one I've ever looked after, who had dementia, ever knew my name? That's an odd thought. But it never made me feel unhappy because, of course, I knew that was typical of dementia. It was the territory they lived in, not the intention of their hearts.
I didn't worry they didn't know my name, because I knew theirs, and God knew ours. I didn't worry, because being with them filled my heart and my care filled theirs. And you probably know, many of the people who go on to have dementia had very difficult childhoods.
Not many people have commented on that, but I always noticed. Now that I do dementia workshops all over the place, I always ask people about the life histories of those who have dementia. And over and over, the same thing comes up. Childhood was hard.
And what's the connection with dementia? Well, there has been no research into those issues -- I guess because you couldn't write it down as a treatable symptom on the medication advisory. "Take two after breakfast if you had a bad childhood."
I work it out this way. Stress is the chief gateway of entry for every major health event that is not genetic. Even in plagues, like the Black Death in Europe in the 13th century, when one third of the entire population of Europe died. That means that two thirds didn't.
Stress releases adrenaline which raises the amount of cortisol in the body. What is the price paid for an infant, a toddler, a young child being constantly flooded with adrenaline and cortisol? We don't know, but I believe part of the long-term price is the development of dementia in old age. I only conclude that from meeting these people at the other end of the road of life.
So, I've always seen my part in their care as being a chance to have life be safe and enjoyable for them. And I'm a fool for fun, so that bit's easy. Lots of silly in my brain.
The one person I knew very well, including about her childhood, who had dementia, had had an extremely stressful childhood. So I think you are on to something.
ReplyDeleteI think you are on to something too. Long-term stress can cause all sorts of things to go wrong in the body. The book "Stress" by Doctor Colbert gives a lot more information. Long-term stress can cause all sorts of diseases depending on which of the 3 stages of "fight or flight" a person gets stuck in.
ReplyDeleteFrena, I didn't realize you had a blog and I'm so glad I found it (from my CGE FB page). Thank you--I love to read what you write. It encourages me and gives me good food for thought.
ReplyDeleteBlessings!
Joan